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[personal profile] damnmydooah
Holy shit, beer is heavy... The shower I took about an hour ago has practically been rendered useless.

I had another weird dream last night. They seem to come in bouts; there are times when I don't dream for weeks on end, and then I have a weird one every night for a week. This particular dream wasn't weird in a personal way, even though I myself was in it. It was just really weird. And I am going to write it down, since I somehow feel I must. However, to observe proper 'netiquette' (seriously, that has got to be the most retarded word of the 21st century), I shall put it behind a cut. Also, this way, if you read and are offended in some way and tell me that, I can say that you didn't have to read it (although I know you guys won't, since you are actually intelligent). So here goes:

So I was in New York, on holiday, with, I believe, [livejournal.com profile] mirdove (the actual person was a little vague, but I'm pretty sure it was her). Only New York had a vague ancient Rome feel, as well as sort of British. I'm not sure why we went there, apart from the fact that we could, I guess. Anyway, somehow we ended up in this big pub with a lot of television actors, including almost the entire cast from SVU. And I managed to end up sitting with four of them in a booth. There was Mariska Hargitay, Chris Meloni, Ice-T and Richard Belzer. The latter two didn't really do anything besided be there, but it was kind of cool. Meloni turned out to be a perfectly nice guy, talking to me and flirting just a little bit, which I'm sure was taught him by his agent or something. It didn't mean anything. Mariska Hargitay, however, turned out to be not only quite the high and mighty bitch (on the slightly less obsessed forums, people call her and/or her character St. Oliska, which really isn't meant in a good way), but also completely into and all over Meloni. At first they were sitting next to each other, touching everywhere, but later, when I returned from what I can only assume was the bathroom, I was suddenly sat in between them. Hargitay obviously didn't like this very much, since she actually stretched out her legs over my lap in order to put her feet in Meloni's. It was all very strange, but also confirmed my suspicions that these two had something more than just a professional relationship going. A little later on, they disappeared. I told [livejournal.com profile] mirdove  that I was going outside to find them, because I had a suspicion that they were having sex. When I exited the pub (which looked superfancy and marble from the outside), I quickly thought I had spotted them having sex against a fence, but it turned out to be a different couple. When I properly focused, I realized that there were about 40 couples having sex right outside the pub. And not loving, drug-fueled "Perfume" sex, but redlight district porn sex. In plain sight. After overcoming my shock and dismay, I looked around some more, and finally spotted Meloni and Hargitay, doing a hardcore vertical nasty against another fence. Disgusted that these two people, who were both married and had children would do something like that in public, I ran back inside, where I encountered Betty from Ugly Betty, who sympathized with my complaint about how terrible and dirty  New York actually was, after which she took me with her to her house, which was actually a really nice and airy apartment that she shared with her onscreen sister, who was very nice to me. When I was helping the sister (I believe the actress' name is Ana Ortiz) with the dishes, talking amongst ourselves (I was feeling very welcome), I suddenly looked out the window and saw something falling out of the sky, heading straight for the kitchen window. I tried to push Ana out of the way, but since she was standing against the kitchen counter, there wasn't really any place for her to go. Luckily, the thing (I can't quite remember what it was; it could'be been a toilet set, a la "Dead Like Me", or a bbq) landed just sort of below the kitchen window, and we were showered in tiny bits of glass than didn't do much damage. After that, something else fell out of the sky, and destroyed a big chunk of the apartment. At this point, of course, we were wondering what the hell was going on, when the right things finally started falling out of the sky, slowed down in their descent by tiny parachutes. It was then that we noticed that there were planes flying over New York, dropping these things off. We realized that these were the "helping" planes that we'd been told about (I have no idea how, though, but that's how dreams work). We managed to get our hands on several packages, and were delighted to find out that they were like pillows with a blanket attached. Inside the pillow, like in a ring box, were three bottles, on of which was a bottle of olive oil. The dream ended with us realizing that the father figure (who was not the father from Ugly Betty) had drunk the olive oil. And that was my dream. I still chuckle when I think about the image of Meloni and Hargitay doing the nasty against a fence, because it is just so weird. And well, just a little bit hot, even though Hargitay was a bitch. :)



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